Saturday, September 29, 2007

Dateline: Madison

Okay, so I saw this sign today:

It took me a few hours before I realized that the sign probably meant that you were not supposed to go out and further plug the meter (in Minnesota we use the phrase "time limit" a little more directly). At least I hope that's what it really meant. The alternative is that it is genuinely stating the blindingly obvious.

Also, is the placement of the sticker random, or is it meant to transform the phrase from Vehicles may not remain in these stalls longer than the time limit of the meter into Vehicles may not remain in these stalls longer than the time limit of the me?

What is the time limit of the me, after all?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

So I saw an ad for ExtenZe, the natural male enhancement pill. I've seen these ads for a while. They all imply, in the most exaggerated stage whisper in history, that they can make men larger in the jock.

Obviously, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't. Still, it's all promoted with such a straight face that I just had to know, so I googled the product name, along with the word "fraud," and this was the only link. It's a site that debunks all the other male enhancement scams.

And then it offers its own solution to male enhancement.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Okay, so the Ziddio video (did they anticipate the cadence of that phrase when they named the site?) is a little wider than is comfortable on this page. It appears to be covering the side menu a little. Apologies. So, I'll just write something now to nudge it further down the page, shall I?

I am at Crackers in Indianapolis this week. If last night's show is any indicator, it should be a fun week.

Did another marathon drive to get here yesterday. Left the house at 4:00 a.m. and made the drive in eleven hours, door to door. I stop a lot. These old bones need to stretch from time to time, and I have the bladder capacity of a nervous german shepard. Fortunately, I don't piddle when showing submission.

I took a leap of faith and took a different route to get here. You see, when I'm planning my route, I am in a constant search of ways to avoid Chicago. Unfortunately, the worst thing about living in Minneapolis is that if you want to head to any point east of Lake Michigan, but north of Dixie, Yahoo! maps will send you through Chicago, which means a) tolls, b) unpredictable traffic and c) tolls. I hate all three of those things (so much that they create cognitive dissonance, apparently).

What I've been doing is driving through Iowa, through Cedar Rapids, Davenport and then across Illinois via Peoria and points East. It adds about 50 miles, but a) there are no tolls, b) it's a delay I can count on, rather than the kind of suprises Chicago traffic offers, and c) there are no tolls.

The other night, Neenie saw me doing my Yahoo! map for this trip and asked why didn't I go through Wisconsin, down to Rockford, IL and then keep going down to Bloomington and then head East? I said, "There's a toll road by Rockford." It sounded less reasonable coming out of my mouth than it had in my head, so I did the Yahoo! map for that route and lo and behold, it was only 30 miles longer than going through Chicago.

And the toll, it turns out, is a dollar.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

New video up on the Media page.

If you wanted, you could even go to Ziddio and give the video a rating and/or comments. Hell, you can share it to Facebook, get a URL to share it with friends, embed it on your own site. The sky is the limit! You get free content and I get free promotion. Everybody wins.

Well, I win a bit more.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

There's a magazine for everything. To look at the cover, it almost appears as though the magazine is written as though it is being published contemporaneously with the actual events of the Civil War, like the film They've Killed President Lincoln. Turns out, no.

Of course, in the South the magazine is known as War Between the States Times.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Bread in a can.

Judging from the image on the label, it's even got the impression of the can's shape, like cranberry sauce.