Compare and Contrast

Via Neatorama and Cynical-C, respectively.

One of the largest disadvantages of parenthood is that hampers your ability to express regrets about any choice you made prior to the conception of your youngest child.

Me: You know, there are times when I wish I'd gone to a school like Madison. The place has a really great vibe.

Friend: But then, you wouldn't have your son and daughters!

Me: You do realize that I don't actually have the ability to change history, right?

Hello, Bob and Tom Listeners!

I know from experience that my hits will spike Friday, thanks to my (at present, upcoming) appearance on The Bob and Tom Show. I just wanted to take a moment to say hello and to thank you for taking the time to not only click through to my Web site but to also go so far as to click on the Blog link. You didn't have to do that. You could have just looked at the home page, verified that yes, the picture matches, and moved on with your life. But no, you clicked through to the blog, and for that I thank you.

Perhaps you also went to the Media page? That would be great if you did. There's some funny stuff there. There's other stuff by me out on the Internet, as a quick Google search will show you. You could even look at the merchandise page and buy something like a CD or a T-shirt. Or both. No pressure. Just letting you know it's there. Maybe you went to the schedule page and noticed that perhaps I'm scheduled to appear at a Club Near You. I hope to see you there. Maybe you noticed that I'm not scheduled to appear at a Club Near You. Well, if you enjoy my appearance on the show, then maybe you should drop an email to that club and mention my name. Couldn't hurt.

But what's important is that you got this far. Again, thanks. I hope I didn't suck.