I think we are now at the point where if you have a job that's never had its own reality show, chances are it's never going to happen. Sorry. Your line of work just isn't sexy or interesting enough. I'm pretty sure there will never be a reality show about car salesmen, for example, because nobody wants to spend any more time with those people than absolutely necessary.

***

Once after a show, a car salesman decided to glom on to me. His group had been a big ol' patch of rudeness, but he was buying drinks, so I figured I'd humor him for a while. In-between crowing how much money he made, and self-congratulation about how he'd "got me" with his heckle (he hadn't), he insisted I spread the word about a shot he invented. The shot was Southern Comfort, shaken in ice. It was called the "Angry Irishman," because it was named after a buddy of his. He was completely nonplussed when I pointed out that not only was nothing Irish about the drink, but since Southern Comfort is the wimpiest of all whiskeys, there wasn't really anything angry about it either.

You know, I said, if you really want a drink that you could call an Angry Irishman, let's do the same thing with the shaker, but make it a shot of Jamison. That would be both angry and Irish. I had the bartender make up a batch of them. He did the shot, but screwed up his face afterwards. He'd suddenly been confronted by the reality that not all whiskeys have been sweetened for his pleasure, and he didn't like it. Pussy.

So now, I suggest that the next time you're out having a few cocktails you get a shot of Jamison shaken in ice and call it the Angry Irishman. I'm going to steal that guy's dream.