100-Word Story About Autumn

“Take the long way home,” she said, and I didn’t know what she meant.

Was it because it was a sunny autumn day? Did she want to witness first-hand that perfect ratio of the leaves that remained in the trees to those that danced in the breeze along the parkways that outlined and followed the bodies of water that lead, not directly, but certainly eventually, to our destination?

Or was she simply a big fan of Supertramp?

The fact that I didn’t know was proof that we either would need a second date, or should never see each other again.

So, it's Halloween night. Neenie is out with the Peanut and a new neighborhood friend we met one day at the park. The original plan was for Neenie to take both girls out while I stayed home and manned the candy dispensary. However, the Bug was on the cranky side, so I figured I'd at least walk them to the new friend's house. A couple of houses in, it became tragically clear that trick-or-treating was beyond the Bug's ability to cope, so I volunteered to bring her home and keep her with me while I waited for the doorbell to ring.

We live across the street from a cemetary, so we don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters. I imagine I'll spend most of my time right here on the couch, the Bug next to me, watching Bride of the Monster. Gosh, I hope it doesn't scare her too much. I'd hate for her to develop a rubber octopus phobia.

You may not know this about me, but I've been a longstanding (and yes, on occasion longsuffering) Paul McCartney fan since I was a child. Here's his latest video:



Most of the time when Paul is being "cute" it just smacks of trying too hard and I feel bad for him. This time, I had a goofy smile on my face the whole time. This might be the most adorable thing Paul has ever done. And yes, I am aware that that might be the queerest thing I've ever typed.

Whatever -- All I can say is good on ya, Paul.

Found this on Cynical-C. It's a beauty pageant contestant doing the theme from Star Wars on the trumpet, complete with interpretive dance. Watch it all the way through.

I don't care how much it hurts. Watch it all the way through.

Don't be a baby. Watch it all the way through.

Here's a little something to get you in the spirit of the season:

Vlad the E-Mailer

TO: service@HarkerRest.com
FROM: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: Wrong casket

I recently purchased the oak-finish RestfulPeace Deluxe from your Web site. But what received was not what I ordered. It is a similar model, but has a large etched design on the lid that was not in the picture on your site. How quickly can it be exchanged?


FROM: mina@HarkerRest.com
TO: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: Wrong casket

Dear Sir,
We regret the error. Our Web site showed the Spring 2006 RestfulPeace Deluxe model. The 2007 model has been updated to include the etched cross on the lid. We regret that our Web site was not updated prior to your order. Please complete the Exchange Request form and fax or mail it to us at the address below. You will find the form, along with your receipt and several valuable coupons, packed inside the casket. Again, we are very sorry for any inconvenience.


TO: mina@HarkerRest.com
FROM: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: RE: Wrong casket

Inside the casket? I can’t quite get to it at the moment. Isn’t there some other way we could handle it?


FROM: mina@HarkerRest.com
TO: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: RE: RE: Wrong casket

I am sorry you're having trouble. This may be better if handled by phone. Please call our customer service line at the number listed below and we would be happy to help you.


TO: mina@HarkerRest.com
FROM: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: RE RE: RE: Wrong casket

I tried your customer service line last night and got a recording indicating your office hours to be between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. I work overnights. Is there any way we could settle this via e-mail?


FROM: mina@HarkerRest.com
TO: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wrong casket

We regret you are having problems with our system. Due to the danger of fraud we are only able to process exchanges either by telephone or via the paperwork included with the order.


TO: mina@HarkerRest.com
FROM: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: YOUR WILL IS MINE

MINA…YOU WILL SEND SOMEBODY TO PICK UP THE CASKET AND REPLACE IT WITH A DIFFERENT MODEL.

YOU WILL

YOU WILL


FROM: mina@HarkerRest.com
TO: vlad@t-vanianet.com
RE: RE: YOUR WILL IS MINE

I will send somebody to pick up the casket immediately.

I will.

I will.


FROM: MinaH, CSR
TO: DRenfield, Shipping Mgr
RE: CUSTOMER TICKET #1031

Please arrange courier delivery and pickup at address attached. Exchange ’07 RPDeluxe w/cross etching for Fall06 model.

As a matter of fact, check to see if we have any left with the optional EternaClear Crystal lid window. This customer has had a hard time and I'd like to upgrade his purchase as a courtesy.