You know, I've been cracking wise about Minnesota fireworks for years, ever since they did the partial legalization, some time around ought-two. It comes in in the Omaha fireworks story:
Now, bear in mind, I live in Minnesota. We just legalized SPARKLERS and we're feeling all dangerous. HEY JIM, I'VE GOT SOME SNAKES!
Turns out, what you can buy here is a shade better than that. I'd never purchased fireworks here and they're really not lame. It's freaking AMAZING for a three year-old. One last-minute trip to Cub, one purchase of a $9.97 Patriot Bag, and I'm Hero of the Beach.
On a completely different tack, KARE 11? Are you out there KARE 11? Good, now listen closely...
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU IN THE EAR FOR TELLING THE HORRIFIC POOL ACCIDENT STORY WITHOUT ADEQUATE WARNING FOR VIEWERS.
Thank you for your attention.