You know, I've been cracking wise about Minnesota fireworks for years, ever since they did the partial legalization, some time around ought-two. It comes in in the Omaha fireworks story:

Now, bear in mind, I live in Minnesota. We just legalized SPARKLERS and we're feeling all dangerous. HEY JIM, I'VE GOT SOME SNAKES!

Turns out, what you can buy here is a shade better than that. I'd never purchased fireworks here and they're really not lame. It's freaking AMAZING for a three year-old. One last-minute trip to Cub, one purchase of a $9.97 Patriot Bag, and I'm Hero of the Beach.

On a completely different tack, KARE 11? Are you out there KARE 11? Good, now listen closely...

[ahem]

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU IN THE EAR FOR TELLING THE HORRIFIC POOL ACCIDENT STORY WITHOUT ADEQUATE WARNING FOR VIEWERS.

Thank you for your attention.